This week, when the Enterprise answers a distress call, the attackers, a race called the Choraii, turn out to be the culprits behind one of the Federation’s worst massacres on record. They pick up an ambassador and his mysterious attaché, who can communicate with the Choraii via the almighty yazz flute. Now the crew has to carefully navigate the music of the spheres, and if they don’t C♯, they’ll B♭. Meanwhile, a band of farmers is on hand to complain about technology and flight delays. Is the group that shuns technology also too good for vowels? Which side of the sickbay bed did Dr. Crusher wake up on? How much of a bonus does an author get for including a saucer separation in their book? It’s The Children of Hamlin, the book that happens when a Jethro Tull album and a bottle of Mr. Bubble love each other very much.
Occasionally, it happens that someone who is otherwise a perfectly decent and talented writer just can’t nail down that Star Trek vibe. 
It’s Dr. McCoy’s birthday. He’s feeling every minute of however old he is, and a surprise party thrown for him by Kirk isn’t helping. So then, what better to put the pep back in one’s middle-aged step than an escort mission involving a bright young princess who wants to bring new meaning to the phrase “jump your bones”?