This week, the Enterprise finds an old ship from the planet Vemla that hasn’t had the last few Windows Updates. But during the grand tour, a stray injury leads to the revelation that they’re all androids on the lam. Matters go from sticky to sludgy when the androids’ builders show up charging them with terrorist actions and demanding them back for dismantling. Now Picard has seemingly only two choices: violate the Prime Directive or violate the Prime Directive. Will he find secret option C? Has Data finally found his people? And what’s in Picard’s special synthehol mix? All this and more in Spartacus, the book that sets the record for destroyed port nacelles.*
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This week, Kirk squares off with Totally-Not-Q, who banishes three of his officers to tumultuous moments in Earth’s past. While he learns how to play nice with the Klingons and work out the god-alien’s inscrutable morality, his missing crewmen struggle to reconcile their desire to return to their own time with the obligations they’ve committed to in their new surroundings. What’s a ghargh? Is Kirk always this whiny? Why don’t children ever just listen? It’s the book with a special appearance by John Larroquette!
This week, the Enterprise finds a recording marker from a long-lost ship, but when they seek information from the authorities of a nearby planet where works of fiction and acts of imagination are capital offenses, they get a bunch of run-around from a dude with a big gnarly scar. Soon, Picard gets his brain wiped, Geordi is in charge of protecting the ship from a horde of floating sentries, and Troi falls in with a band of cosplaying rebels while fending off some hellacious nightmares. Will Data’s poetry catch on? What is Worf keeping so tightly under wraps? And where can I get a copy of The Riker & Timoshenko Sessions? It’s the book that’s doin’ a little thing we call three-toed minty fresh logo tissue.
This week, our favorite Romuvulcan (Vulcomulan?) gets a turn in the spotlight, which, unfortunately, she has to share with an extremely irritating CGI mascot. Spock rescues her from a literal kid-eat-kid existence on the aptly named Hellguard, but when a set of complimentary gift boxes proves deadly, they’ll have to sneak back into Romulan territory and work together to bring down the Amazon warehouse that’s shipping out the faulty orders. Who will save the day? The stoic Vulcan and his volatile protégé? The captain trapped in the doomsday bunker? Or the infuriating tiny ocean man? Place your bets! It’s the book that, sadly, never gets around to taking you out to the ballgame.
This week, three children from a previous episode contend with the most dangerous alien force of all: puberty. But their joyride in a stolen starship takes an alarming turn when the Federation realizes there’s also an experimental cloaking device prototype on board. It’s bad enough for Kirk to have to cancel a meeting with a council of Contra-teens (which isn’t going so hot anyway) and call in some favors from an old friend—and I do mean old. Are the kids in fact alright? Is Kirk still carrying a gross torch for Miri? Wouldn’t you have an itchy trigger finger if you were a redshirt? It’s the book that, sadly, isn’t just 300 pages of Dr. McCoy dunking on basic white people.
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