This week, while Riker plays undercover spy, Data plays third base. With the Priority One message not going to him and having to put the Enterprise in park in case Riker gets deep in it, Picard isn’t quite sure what to do with all this free time. How did Riker get into jazz? How would this book be different if Data read the Baseball Prospectus? What did Michael Jan Friedman get right and wrong about the state of baseball in the 21st century? It’s the book that’s handed out for free by the Church of the Center Field Bleachers.
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This week, while Picard allows a mysterious beam to pull the Enterprise to its source to get to the bottom of some recent disappearances, the rest of the crew experiences a different kind of drag as Data goes around looking for critiques on the romance novel he’s writing. Meanwhile, a familiar face tries to find the best living situation for her young charge, while a mound of space crystals is racking up a hefty pile of bad Yelp reviews. Why did Geordi make the cover? When is having Tellarite vision a good thing? Who will be the one to break the bad news to Data? It’s the book that you have to darken the ports to properly appreciate.
This week, four authors of varying notoriety in Trekdom join forces to deliver a book that any given one of them honestly probably could have written just fine on their own. Geordi, Worf, and Data get dropped off on Kirlos to assist a former teacher of Geordi’s in an archaeological dig, but when their presence in the vicinity of two explosions makes everyone think they’re terrorists, the make-out plans Geordi barely knew he had go on indefinite hold. While the gold-tunic’d trio work to clear their names and prevent war, Picard mounts a rescue effort for another planet under attack and gets a shocking amount of guff for playing a hunch. Who wrote which parts? Are four heads better than one? Should you go through with ideas you have at parties? What’s going on underneath Kirlos? And how would you seduce Data? It’s the book that didn’t have enough in the budget for Tellarites.
An away team’s survey becomes a one-man test of will when the planet’s “gods” decide to fire up the PS3 and stick Data in a game of Journey. Data completes the Quest and is granted his fondest dream: to become a Real Boy™. Now he has to learn how to do human things like pick dinner and swim and look things up on the internet because he doesn’t have Wikipedia in his head anymore. This week, it’s Next Generation‘s first major event novel, Metamorphosis, or, Androids Prefer Blondes.
This week, Picard sends Tasha Yar and Data to survey a planet whose president has requested Federation aid to see if the lady checks out. Tasha gets abducted by an ex gone rogue who claims she betrayed him, but when he tries to lure her away from Starfleet and make it work again, she tells him they’ll always have New Paris. Meanwhile, it’s all she can do to not make a hash of the Prime Directive when the planet plunges into all-out war. Why does every woman who meets Data want to bone him? What would be in a What Would Riker Do? book? Do androids get tired of eating the same lunch every day? It’s the book that gives Tasha Yar the fair shake she always deserved.