This week, the Enterprise finds an old ship from the planet Vemla that hasn’t had the last few Windows Updates. But during the grand tour, a stray injury leads to the revelation that they’re all androids on the lam. Matters go from sticky to sludgy when the androids’ builders show up charging them with terrorist actions and demanding them back for dismantling. Now Picard has seemingly only two choices: violate the Prime Directive or violate the Prime Directive. Will he find secret option C? Has Data finally found his people? And what’s in Picard’s special synthehol mix? All this and more in Spartacus, the book that sets the record for destroyed port nacelles.*
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This week, the lights are on at Domarus IV, but no one’s home—or so the Enterprise thinks. A jalopy from the Teniran Echelon shows up to call dibs on the planet, but Picard wants to see some license and registration. But when shuttles and captains start to disappear in Laser Floyd clouds, the two crews demand answers. While Data and Deanna try to keep the campers happy, Picard and the Teniran captain are stuck playing Darmok and Jalad at Minecraft. But will Picard open his arms wide? or will the walls fall at Domarus? All this and more in Perchance to Dream, the book that teaches us that sharing truly is caring.
This week, when Spock is caught gallavanting on Romulus, Picard and Data need some high-end cosplay and a Klingon Uber to drag the ambassador back to Federation space and his senses. But Spock may be on the precipice of mending the centuries-long rift between Romulans and Vulcans, and it’ll take more than some Federation finger-wagging for him to give up now. Is Riker over the trombone? What’s the boring new ensign hiding? And what kind of monster puts ketchup on their eggs? All this and more in Unification, the novelization of the two-part episode—now with 400 percent more horny subplots!
This week, while Riker plays undercover spy, Data plays third base. With the Priority One message not going to him and having to put the Enterprise in park in case Riker gets deep in it, Picard isn’t quite sure what to do with all this free time. How did Riker get into jazz? How would this book be different if Data read the Baseball Prospectus? What did Michael Jan Friedman get right and wrong about the state of baseball in the 21st century? It’s the book that’s handed out for free by the Church of the Center Field Bleachers.
This week, while Picard allows a mysterious beam to pull the Enterprise to its source to get to the bottom of some recent disappearances, the rest of the crew experiences a different kind of drag as Data goes around looking for critiques on the romance novel he’s writing. Meanwhile, a familiar face tries to find the best living situation for her young charge, while a mound of space crystals is racking up a hefty pile of bad Yelp reviews. Why did Geordi make the cover? When is having Tellarite vision a good thing? Who will be the one to break the bad news to Data? It’s the book that you have to darken the ports to properly appreciate.