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#105: Shell Game (TOS #63)

This week, the Romulans decide to build their own Terok Nor—with blackjack, and hookers—but when they can’t stand the (lack of) heat, they find themselves forced out of the kitchen. When the Enterprise investigates the drifting station, they find themselves getting the same cold shoulder. Now they have to find the thing going bump in the night, and Scotty’s goofy ghost stories aren’t helping. Does Walter Koenig have dirt on the L.A. Graf ladies? What does a Romulan dildo look like? And whatever happened to sonic showers? All this and more in Shell Game, the book that will never know the joy of a Coney Island footlong.

#092: Faces of Fire (TOS #58)

This week, the Enterprise picks up yet another blowhard ambassador to mediate a religious dispute involving a sacred animal, but Spock opts out to tinker with a cool laser on a terraforming colony. But the Klingons, up to their usual cloak-and-dagger shenanigans, descend on the colony to steal the beam in hopes of weaponizing it. Will Kirk and the ambassador figure out how to relocate the animals? Can Spock successfully collaborate with a bunch of tweens? And how much does it suck when annoying people are right? All this and more in Faces of Fire, the book that will make you openly yearn for the death of a child.

#088: Unification (TNG episode novelization)

This week, when Spock is caught gallavanting on Romulus, Picard and Data need some high-end cosplay and a Klingon Uber to drag the ambassador back to Federation space and his senses. But Spock may be on the precipice of mending the centuries-long rift between Romulans and Vulcans, and it’ll take more than some Federation finger-wagging for him to give up now. Is Riker over the trombone? What’s the boring new ensign hiding? And what kind of monster puts ketchup on their eggs? All this and more in Unification, the novelization of the two-part episode—now with 400 percent more horny subplots!

#084: Legacy (TOS #56)

This week, Kirk and a motley assortment of lower-deckers get swallowed by an Alaskan bull worm and Spock comes down with an overactive thyroid. Before Scotty can mount a proper search-and-rescue, however, the Enterprise gets reassigned to a pirate takeover at the Beta Cabrini mining colony. Spock refuses to use sick time in order to keep crew morale high, but when the pirate leader turns out to be an old adversary, he thinks the answers may lie somewhere in his LinkedIn profile. Does Scotty know how close he came to getting court-martialed? What does it mean when Chris Pike starts seeing glitches in the matrix? How much of this book actually has any bearing on anything? All this and more in Legacy, the book that reminds you why Kirk wears the captain’s stripes.

#082: Renegade (TOS #55)

This week, some aliens want to see the manager, and unfortunately for Kirk, he’s the manager. But when Spock and McCoy go missing the second they beam down for negotiations, he has to figure out what’s causing his shields and sensors to go wee-wonky if he wants them back. Who wants revenge on Kirk this time? Do the Klingons know what they want? And how screwed would Starfleet officers be without tricorders? All this and more in Renegade, the book where nobody is who they seem.

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